Suddenly, people you haven’t seen in years are asking to squeeze an air mattress into your apartment’s shared living space (hallway), and include you in their crazed plans to join the crush around Rockefeller Center to look at an average-sized Norway spruce. The tree lighting is tomorrow, by the way; the Department of Transportation has declared Wednesday a “gridlock alert day,” one of 16 during the holiday season, when driving through Midtown takes twice as long as normal.
The holiday events happening in Bedford + Bowery land are bound to be less crowded, so we found a few for you and your fake out-of-town friends.
Nov. 30, 10:30pm-4am at Bizarre, 12 Jefferson St, Bushwick.
December is a time for Santa, but it’s also a time for Krampus, the horned goat demon who follows St. Nick around giving coal to Central European children. Celebrate of Krampusnacht and “the darker side of the holiday season” with DJ Cyclonus, absinthe, fortune-telling, and “holiday horror.” The free, no-cover vibes include goth, industrial, darkwave, deathrock and dark 80s; all the sounds sure to summon the forces of Arkham.
Holiday Oddities Flea Market
Dec. 1-2 at Brooklyn Bazaar, 150 Greenpoint Ave, Greenpoint.
Pound the egg nog and then go look at weird shit at this oddities extravaganza. Wares will include anatomical curiosities, natural history items, taxidermy, home décor, jewelry, and dark art, plus on-the-spot flash tattoos by contestants from the Ink Master TV show. It’s $10 at the door, or $30 to cut lines with advance VIP tickets.
Brouqueline Holiday Party
Dec. 16, 5pm to 2 am, TBA Brooklyn, 385 Wythe Ave., Williamsburg.
Do you have an inner electronic-music elf? TBA Brooklyn is betting you do, and they’re hosting a holiday party with Brouqueline full of disco, funk, house and techno sounds to soothe the wintry spirit creatures within you; it’s free with RSVP.
Social Justice Holiday Market
Dec. 15-16 at Mayday Space, 176 St Nicholas Ave, Bushwick.
Buy gifts for your woke friends and support the “solidarity economy” at this market stocked with accessories, herbals, zines, buttons, art, and hot wintry drinks, plus a DJ.
Dec. 16, 5:45pm, at Washington Square Park, Greenwich Village.
This yearly tradition is like caroling but with a Say Anything aesthetic. Meet at the arch at Washington Square Park with your boombox or other sound device to join the composer Phil Kline in a mobile chorus from Greenwich Village to Tompkins Square Park. Kline will be loaning out a number of vintage boomboxes and cassettes too, or you can download the tracks in advance.
Through Jan. 13 at Theatre XIV, 383 Troutman Street, Bushwick.
Watch a sexy version of the Nutcracker at Theatre XIV in Bushwick–Nutcracker Rouge is a cabaret/burlesque re-imagining of the classic Christmas story. We’ve described it as a “louche, vaudevillian affair” that “plays with 1700s opulence, fin-de-siècle decadence, the sharp lines of Art Deco, and the glitz and glamor of old Hollywood.” Tickets start under $100 and there probably won’t be many children there, a true holiday miracle.