You didn’t find a decent Valentine’s Day gift for your lover?
You don’t think this should be a schmaltzy date?
You think this is a holiday perpetrated by Hallmark to make everyone feel guilty and make people waste money on stupid cards, flowers that will die and horrible chocolate bonbons?
Well, you’re not alone. We feel you and moreover, we have a solution for you: The Periodic Table of Sexual Terminology. Click here for total bliss.
Or don’t. Fuck this stupid holiday.
Or Happy Valentine’s Day.